I wish I....

- could play by ear or by heart
- lived down the street from my mom and dad
so they could be grandma and grandpa on a daily basis
- felt more comfortable in my bathing suit
- gave myself a chance to write that book I've always wanted to do
- threw more parties
- spoke Spanish
- didn't procrastinate so much
- felt more at ease at "functions"
- knew how to direct movies (and that someone gave me a chance)
- enjoyed exercise more
- kept in touch with more of my family and friends
- followed more of my spontaneous whims
- followed through on more kind thoughts/ideas
- could take my kids on a trip around the world
- knew the names of the constellations ( and could point them out)
- were several sizes smaller (see exercise wish. and bathing suit one.)
- always knew the right words to say

Some of these are on my resolution list, others on my do-before-I-die-list, others I'm not sure I'll ever check off.
What about you???

Daily Monster, I hardly knew ye

For 100 days, Stefan Bucher drew a monster every day and posted the video of its creation to his blog, encouraging commenters to make up a story about the monster. I caught up with Daily Monster on about day 85 so I feel a little cheated to lose it so soon. But you can see all of the archives at his website. Enjoy!

Silver linings...

Now that it's been over a week since my crushing disappointment, I'm ready to play a little game of "on the bright side." The deal on our dream house fell through last week and, ever since, I've been moping...slurping away at a bowl of pity soup with a garnish of poor me. But I'm done now. To prove it, here's a list of silver linings I've come up with:
- now we have disposable income again!
- we won't have to box up the whole household and move
- bigger houses are just more rooms to clean
- we can travel instead of paying a significantly higher mortgage
- we can pay for our kids to go to college instead of " " " "
- we can pretty much do lots of things instead of " " " "
- I can replace our hammered sofa
- who wants a beautiful turreted Queen Anne Victorian on a tree-lined village street, anyway?

Well, maybe I'm not completely over it yet.

A stretch of charmed luck

We're in DC this week for February break (don't be too jealous...the down side to this week of school vacation is we don't get out of school until almost Independence Day). For some reason we've hit a vortex of good fortune. We must look like the Clampetts freshly arrived in California because we are being treated like refreshing novelties everywhere we go. Apparently tourists are uncommon in mid-February (or we really do look like hicks or a traveling circus).

Our trip down here was not only uneventful but even enjoyable and shorter than we anticipated. We arrived and the hotel clerk upgraded us to a two-bedroom suite. The weather took a balmy turn the day we arrived...apparently the first time above freezing for 25 days...and it's in the 50s today. The lady at Krispy Kreme gave us 5 doughnuts for the price of 3 (this one particularly delighted M, who suggested we continue testing this generosity every few hours). The hotel provides not just breakfast but also dinner!

While I am enjoying this blessed good fortune, I can't help thinking--we are due a really nasty piece of bad fortune in the near future.

I realized today that it's been several months since S has deigned to hold my hand in public. He used to voluntarily hold my hand, even on the way to school, just reach out nonchalantly and link himself to me for the walk home. Sometimes there would even be a skiphop as he trotted along next to me, matching his boy-sized strides to my mom-sized ones.

I wish I would have known the moment of the last one. I would have savored it more, looked down on the sun shining on that cute swirl of hair at the crown of his head, maybe squeezed his hand to punctuate that last hand-to-hand that would launch him into middle childhood. But then I would have cried and nobody wants that.

"...the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three on them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in a hurry to get on to the next things: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less" (Anna Quindlen).

So savor, sieze the day.

For my valentine

Why a picture of Thai paper lanterns on Valentine's Day, you ask? Quite simply because this is what my heart feels like when I think of you. Hundreds of glowing lights. Here's to you, GLW!

Back for the fifth year in a row...

Valentine Airplanes!
All three of my kids have done these easy valentines for their classes over the years. And they keep showing up on their must-do lists for Valentines celebrations...I try to introduce other things but my three will hear none of it. All you need for each plane is a roll of smarties, a stick of gum, two lifesavers, and a rubber band. Easy breezy.

I totally know how she feels

I empathize with Ms. PacMan. Here's why: I have three children and normally I truly enjoy being with them, even when I'm treated like their personal concierge or when I can't do anything right ( I unforgivably cut the sandwich in the wrong direction or when L reminds me I can't seem to remember two things) . But there are times, people. Times. I just need a few minutes. Alone. Bathroom time doesn't count. And these are the times when I seem to be sought out with extraordinary zeal. They seem to have a "Mom-unavailability-radar" that activates as soon as I open a book or start an e-mail. So you'll understand why I love this video.

All I can say is, you can run but you can't hide. Eventually they find you.

Just in case...

Over Thanksgiving, Greg's dad pulled him aside to tell him where all their important documents are: wills, account information, medical information, etc. Just in case. Kind of a sobering conversation, really, but his dad felt strongly that he should know where all that mysterious stuff was, just in case. Fast forward a few months to this conversation:
Me: Greg?
G: Yeah?
M: I feel like I need to tell you something.
G: ...okay....
M: Well, I know this is hard to talk about, but you know how your dad had that talk with you over Thanksgiving?
G: Uh-huh...(quizzical look, like 'where are you going with this?')
M: I really think I should show you where the bathroom cleaning supplies are. You know, just in case anything ever happens to me.

I think he really appreciated the information, don't you?